


Is that you, Malfoy?

by Smileyface2000



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-08 00:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14682264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smileyface2000/pseuds/Smileyface2000
Summary: A documentation of the adventures of Lily Potter and Scorpius Malfoy. They're just two people trying to outrun their destinies, hopefully together.





	1. A Trip to Ottery St. Catchpole

“Hogwarts sounds like it has become quite boring since I left.”

“Wow Dominique your humility continues to astonish me.” My cousin and I were currently sitting on the bed in my mom’s old bedroom. We hadn’t seen each other in months and   
there was a lot of catching up to do. It was the summer after my third year and I was spending the day at the Burrow. This happened to be one of the few rooms where I didn’t have to shout to be heard.

“Come on! Give me the dirt. There’s barely any gossip at Beauxbatons and I’m bored to death.” Dominique left Hogwarts the year before because she was tired of boys coming after. She may have only been part veela, but that part was strong enough to have most of the boys at school chase her like lunatics. So during Christmas break, she took up her mother’s offer to transfer to the French wizarding academy. She appreciated the lack of admirers, but life at BeauxBatons is the   
opposite of exciting.

“Well I’m sorry to disappoint you Dom, but my friends aren’t really the gossiping type.”

“Somehow that sounded like an insult. Hey I think I hear Uncle Harry calling your name”

“He probably needs help setting up the table. I’ll see you later.” I walked down the stairs slowly, hoping that maybe by the time I get to the bottom, my assistance would no longer be needed. Surprisingly, when I reached the bottom, it’s not my father who’s waiting for me, it was James.

“Hey Lily, Louis told me that he saw you fraternizing with a Slytherin. So which did you use; a love potion or the imperius curse?”

“Tell me James, does it take a lot of work to be such an arsehole or does it come   
naturally?”

“Watch your mouth Lily!” my dad yelled from the next room

I turned to give my dad a look of disbelief before walking out the backdoor. If James hadn’t told those skanks about me, none of us would be in this situation. I wouldn’t be insulted daily, I wouldn’t have sent Clara Brown to the Hospital Wing and I wouldn’t have had to do detention with Jacob Flint. Sadly James can’t keep his mouth shut to save his life and most girls at Hogwarts hang onto every word he utters.

It took awhile for me to simmer down and realise that I had no idea where I was   
going. When I finally looked up, I saw the village just a few hundred meters away, so I decided to do a little exploring. I always enjoyed walking through Ottery St. Catchpole. It’s filled with quaint little shops and people who don’t mind stopping and having a conversation with a total stranger. After weaving through alleys for what seems like an hour, I entered the local ice cream parlour. Their stuff tastes way better than Florean Fortescue’s. I spotted a table near the window that looked perfect for brooding all afternoon.

“May I take your order?” I was so deep in thought that I didn’t even notice the waiter approaching me.

“Two scoops of Black Cherry please,” I replied, without even looking up.

“Coming right up.”

“Wait a second,” I thought. I knew that voice. But by the time I lifted my head, he already turned around. “Is that you Malfoy?”

“What? No, of course not. You must be mistaken.”

“You can quit the act Malfoy, you’ve already blown your cover.”

“Fine, it’s me Potter.”

“What’s a rich boy like you doing working at an ice cream parlour? Did daddy not give you enough money for your allowance?”

“None of your bloody business Potter.”

“No need to get so rude.”

“Do you want your order or are you going to keep asking me stupid questions?”

“You know what? Just forget it! I’m going home.” It amazed me how Malfoy never ceased to push my buttons. No matter how old we were, no matter how close he and Albus became, he still found a way to annoy me. Little did I know that my life had just reached a turning point.


	2. Summer Promises

“Potter? What are you doing here?” 

“I would never let a prat like you stop me from getting my ice cream,” I replied with a hint of a smile on my lips. He just stood there for awhile with a questioning look on his face. It felt like he was trying to analyze me. My cheeks suddenly began to burn. It wasn’t a feeling I was used to so it made me squirm a little bit. I quickly came up with a distraction, “You’re not a very good waiter are you?”

“At least I know how to be polite.”

His insult annoyed me, but at least he had stopped staring at me. “You call insulting the customers, being polite?”

He smiled and walked away. It was a rare thing to see Scorpius Malfoy smiling, but it was so warm, so compelling, it suddenly became clear why most girls couldn’t stop talking about him. That smile combined with his quidditch player body, I suppose it was enough to drive any girl insane. He was hot and he knew it. He went through girls almost as quickly as Rose went through books. Speaking of Rose, she’s been not so secretly pining over him since the day she realized that Uncle Ron would never approve. But that’s Rose for you; always wanting what she can’t have. I could have told her about Malfoy’s job here in town, but for some reason, I felt strangely possessive of this new found secret. 

“Here’s your ice cream,” he said as he placed my cup on the table.

“Thanks, Blondie.”

He just rolled his eyes and walked to another table where a couple had just sat down. 

Sitting in the ice cream parlour quickly got boring, so I left to continue exploring the village. I was walking down one of the many cobblestone roads when I saw a trail behind some bushes leading into a part of the forest that I hadn’t been in. My curiosity overcame me as I decided to check it out. After walking for about 15 minutes, the path came to an end at the centre of a circle of trees. The place gave me a feeling of exhilaration. It was my only little spot where the pressures of the outside world couldn’t take hold of me.

The next day, I woke up early and packed a couple bags. When I went down to breakfast I asked my parents if I could spend a couple weeks at the burrow. They were hesitant, but in the end, they were still too groggy to argue. So I grabbed my bags, said goodbye to my parents and flooed over to my grandparents’. They couldn’t have been more excited to hear that I was staying. 

I was in such a hurry to get to the village that I tripped about 5 times on the way to my mom’s old bedroom. I packed a backpack with a tarp, some rope, a small shovel I snatched from Grandpa’s shed and a blanket. I ran out the house so quickly that I nearly didn’t hear Nana Molly offering me food. I declined, knowing that I was planning to stop by the ice cream parlour. 

When I got to the parlour, my table by the window was waiting for me. I sat looking at Malfoy tending to other customers. I began to become impatient when another waiter approached me.

“May I take your order?”

My heart fell when I realized that Malfoy wasn’t going to take my order. The feeling confused me, but I pushed it aside. “Sure, can I get two scoops of vanilla?”

“Coming right up,” he said with a smile.

A couple minutes later Malfoy came back with my order.

“What did you say to Andrew? He can’t stop grinning like an idiot,” he demanded whilst setting my ice cream down. 

“Who?”

“The other waiter.”

“Oh him, I don’t know. He seemed fine when he left. Why did you bring me my ice cream instead of him? You couldn’t resist talking to me?”

“I wanted to save him from the displeasure of serving you,” he said with his signature smirk.

“You’re using such big words Malfoy. Could you be using them to mask your jealousy?” I asked playfully.

“Now I’m  _ certain _ that you’ve gone bonkers! So what’s the bag for?”

“Sorry Malfoy, I can’t tell you.”

“May I ask why not?”

“It’s a secret,” I replied coyly.

“Secrets are no fun unless you share them.”

“Then you’ll just have to wait for when I’m ready to tell you,” I said whilst getting up. “See you tomorrow Malfoy”

It took me awhile to find the path again, but once I did, it wasn’t too long before I arrived at my destination. 

“Time to get started.”

I hung up the tarp using the tree branches. It acted as a sort of roof to prevent the rain from getting the area wet. Next, I dug a makeshift trench around the perimeter to collect any rainwater that would otherwise flow into in the circle. I added a path for any excess water to runoff. The final step was to place a blanket in the centre. Feeling proud of what I accomplished, I picked up my backpack and walked home.

I spent the rest of summer just like that day. I would wake up, eat breakfast, visit the parlour, bicker with Malfoy, visit my special spot in the woods, make a few changes and come back home. By the second last week of August, my relationship with Malfoy started to resemble a friendship and my spot in the forest started to resemble a colourful sanctuary.

One day, I entered the parlour, but Malfoy was nowhere to be seen. I saw Andy leaning on the counter if anyone knew where Malfoy was, he would.

“Hey, Andy! Where’s Malfoy?”

“Oh hi, Lily! How are you today?” he asked with a smile.

“I’m great, thanks, but that doesn’t answer my question.”

“What question?”

“Where’s Malfoy?” I asked with a confused look.

“Oh, he didn’t come in today. He’s probably sick.”

“Oh,” he had never missed a day before and for some weird reason, I felt disappointed.

“Did you want to take a seat? I could bring you your usual.”

“No, it’s okay. I’m kind of in a hurry today anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow,” somehow, I had lost my desire for ice cream that day. I left the parlour and started walking towards the path. It was a beautiful day, but for some reason the shining sun had no effect on my mood. I felt inexplicably gloomy. Hopefully, the novel I packed would help me escape this feeling. Whilst I walked to my spot, I noticed something strange. There were footsteps on the path. There were never footsteps on the path. The discovery caused me to run the rest of the way to my hideout. When I got there I recognized a familiar mop of blonde hair standing next to my tie-dye blanket.

“Is this your new hobby Malfoy? Stalking me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself Potter; there are far more interesting hobbies. What is this place anyway?”

“It’s where I come to get away from you,” I replied with a smirk on my lips. “How did you find it?” I might have been imagining it, but I swear I saw a blush on Scorpius’ cheeks that day.

“Um, I might have followed you one day to find out what your big secret was,” he replied sheepishly.

“So I was right; you  _ were _ stalking me.”

“No, I was simply investigating suspicious activity.”

“Suspicious activity? Really Malfoy?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, you were acting very mysteriously.” 

“Okay, there’s no need to get defensive. Since you’re here you might as well take a seat,” I suggested whilst lowering myself onto the blanket.

“So what do you do out here, besides getting away from me?”

“I like to come out here to read and to escape my crazy family. Believe it or not, you’re not the most annoying person in my life.” We stayed on that blanket all day just talking. I learned a lot about Malfoy that day and he learned a lot about me. It’s hard to make friends when you’re the daughter of the chosen one. So I pounced on the opportunity to have a conversation with someone who wanted to talk to me, Lily, not the Lily Potter; daughter of Harry Potter. I could tell that Scorpius enjoyed being just Scorpius and leaving behind his last name. I guess that’s why that was the last day I called him Malfoy. 

We planned to meet up the next day to have an all-nighter in the woods. So I woke up late and I spent the day helping Nana out around the burrow. I told my parents and grandparents that I would spend the night at my friend’s house. I didn’t want to lie to them, but somehow I didn’t think they would agree with me staying in the forest with Scorpius Malfoy all night. So around sunset, I told them I was about to floo to my friend’s house and slipped out the back door. I met him next to the bushes in front of the path. 

“Remind me why I agreed to this plan again.”

“Well, yesterday I said that even though your hideaway was equipped for an overnight stay, you would be too scared to do it. You insisted that you could stay overnight. Which lead to me betting 15 sickles that you couldn’t. So here we are, proving me right.”

“Just start walking,” I mumbled whilst starting down the path. “You did bring the lanterns right?”

“Of course I did, I’m always prepared,” he said with a wink.

I hate when he does that. It always makes me feel tingly. Sometimes I think he does it just to torture me. 

Later that night the two of us were lying down on the blanket. Scorpius was bouncing a ball against a tree whilst I read a new book.

“I can’t believe you actually brought a book with you. You’re such a nerd.”

“At least I’m not a brainless jock,” I throw back whilst closing my book.

“I’m not a brainless jock.”

“Then I’m not a nerd. I’m actually pretty strong, for your information.”

“Care to prove it?” He asked with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“I’m listening.”

“Let’s have an arm wrestling competition.”

“A what?”

“It’s a muggle tradition.”

“What are the steps?” I was intrigued.

“Well we face each other and then we grasp each other hands like this. Then we push against each other’s hand and the first person to push the person’s hand all the way down first is the win… Hey! I wasn’t ready.”

“Well stop talking so we can have a real match.” Scorpius then proceeded to win twice in a row.

“Are you ready to give up yet?”

“Nope, third time's a charm.”

THUMP!

“Hey, why’d you let me win?

I would have pushed back but I was paralyzed by what I saw on his left wrist. I probably would have missed it, if I hadn’t seen it before. I remembered seeing similar, thin, white scars on Molly’s wrists in school. When I mentioned it to her, she brushed me off. The week after, I got a letter from my parents saying that Molly was being committed to a mental hospital. She had been severely depressed for months and the cutting was just a recent manifestation of her illness. Molly came back about a year later. The doctors said she was fixed and she swears that she’s much better, but there are some days when I can’t even recognize my cousin.

“Hey what’s wrong?”

His question snapped me out of my thoughts.

“How long have you been cutting?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t give me that bullshit Scorpius. I already noticed the scars on your wrist. Now answer my question.

He quickly pulled his flannel’s sleeve over his scars, “don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry about it!? You must be insane!”

“Maybe I am.”

“You know that’s not what I meant. Listen you have to stop.”

“It’s not that easy Lily.”

“I know and I promise to always be there to support you, but you have to promise to stop.”

“Fine, I promise to stop cutting.”

“Good. Now let’s see if four is my lucky number.”

We spent the rest of the night in the forest. I took a quick nap sometime after midnight, but I was awake when the sun rose. Scorpius mentioned using the fireplace in the parlour to floo home, so I decided that flooing home would seem less conspicuous. We packed up our stuff and walked back to the parlour. The town looked even more beautiful in the sunrise’s golden light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it seems like I sort of introduced a mental illness and then quickly dismissed it. I was trying to emmulate what Lily's reaction would actually be like. This is not the last time this will be brought up. I hope you enjoyed reading the arguments between Scorpius and Lily, because I enjoyed writing them. Remember reviews always make my day.


	3. The Morning of September the 1st

I woke up early on the morning of September 1 st . I never slept much the week before returning to Hogwarts. The thought of returning to the ancient, mysterious castle always gave me a week-long buzz. Not to mention the increased freedom from my siblings. I loved Al and James, but after a couple of days, they become quite stifling. James couldn’t comprehend the meaning of humility and Al only had one mode when it came to me; overprotective. Scorpius also contributed to my lack of sleep. I often found my thoughts drifting to the argumentative Slytherin. I may have acted calmly that night in the woods, but when I got back to the Burrow, I stayed up all night worrying about if he was okay and wondering if I should tell someone. I just couldn’t understand what could drive someone to injure themselves. What could be going on in his life to make him so frustrated? Self-harm was a concept that I couldn’t and probably will never be able to comprehend.

When I saw the first rays of sun peering over the horizon, I decided to make use of all this extra time and go for a run. I put on a pair of trainers, leggings and a tank top I received from Victoire. It revealed more cleavage than I’m used to, but knowing my cousin, it probably cost a lot of money, so I smiled and told her that I liked it. After a while, I grew accustomed to it and now I don’t even notice the low neckline when I look in the mirror.

When I was done forcing my unruly, Potter hair into a ponytail, I tiptoed towards the front door. Out of habit, I peered into the coat closet to check if my dad’s coat was in there. He had been on a mission for the past week and he hadn’t returned yet. Sadly, his grey, tweed coat was nowhere to be found. I closed the door to the closet, grabbed my keys and ran out the door.

The great thing about running early in the morning was the lack of people. Living in a wizarding community had its perks and its disadvantages. One of the setbacks was being recognized by everyone as the daughter of Harry Potter. It’s sort of difficult to run when you get stopped every block by someone wanting to chat with the “Potter Girl.” So the mornings were my ideal time to run (when I wasn’t too lazy to get out of bed). Running helped me to clear my mind. I often fell victim to all the ideas swimming around in my brain, but when I ran, all the cluttered thoughts drifted away and my only thought was to keep running.

After about 30 minutes, I stopped in my neighbourhood’s park to take a break. All the park benches were empty, so I sat on the one closest to me. My thoughts quickly drifted towards my dad’s absence. After the sho0ck of discovering that my father was Harry Potter, people often asked the question, “How does it feel to be the daughter of an Auror?” The truth is I never get used to it; the feeling of terror when he first announces a new mission, the feeling of hopelessness when I don’t know when he’ll back or what state he’ll be in, the feeling of relief that floods my entire body when he finally returns. I mean, sure, he doesn’t go on nearly as many missions as he used to back in the days. Unlike Uncle Ron, dad doesn’t mind spending a lot of time at his desk. Uncle Ron never lets more than two weeks pass in between missions. It takes a toll on Rose and Hugo, but no one feels the effects of his absence more than Aunt Hermione. She tries to smile through it, but we can all tell that every time he leaves it’s like he takes another piece of her with him. The family has tried talking to him about it, but he refuses to slow down. One night, I went downstairs to grab a midnight snack, but I stopped when I heard mom and dad talking in the living room. I could tell by the tone of their voices that it was important, so I listened in. My dad was in the middle of recalling a confession made by Uncle Ron earlier that night. Uncle Ron had admitted to my dad that he often missed the war. He craved having a purpose. Although the idea of desiring war seemed absurd, the need for a purpose was something I could relate to. I mean during the war, there was a constant objective, a steady goal. Now, there was no threat, no need for adrenaline. Uncle’s Ron obsession with his missions suddenly became clear. That was the day I stopped hating him and started feeling sorry for him. Since then, I noticed how sad he looked when he thought no one was looking.

By the time I tuned back into reality, it was almost seven. So I sprinted home to take a shower before my brothers spent an hour in the bathroom, styling their hair. No matter what I tell them, my friends all think that James and Albus were just blessed with hair that naturally looks tousled. They use up more hair product than I do!

When I got downstairs I was surprised to see everyone else already there. Either they all got up whilst I was in the shower or I was in more of a hurry than I thought.

“Good morning Lily! I tried saying hi earlier on, but you just bolted up the stairs before I could,” my mom said.

Yup, it was the latter.

“What were you doing out so early in the morning? Scaring little kids off with your face?”

“No James, I was running. Some of us actually exercise outside of Quidditch season,” I replied with the sweetest smile that I could muster this early in the morning.

“Hey, who wants some bacon?” mom suggested, trying to diffuse the situation. 

We all replied with a resounding “me”.

I still had some packing to do, so I headed upstairs whilst mom was frying the bacon. When I came back downstairs, James and Albus were both eating breakfast. I grabbed a piece of bacon off of James’ plate whilst I walked by him. 

“Oi! Why can’t you keep your grubby hands to yourself?”

“Because then I wouldn’t have the chance to see your face turn 50 shades of red.”

“Hey! No sexual puns at breakfast!”

“Dad!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is short and there wasn’t a lot of progress to the plot, but I’ll try to have the next one up soon. Thanks for reading :)


	4. The Return

I turned around to see my father’s smile beaming down at me. 

“I don’t consider it a sexual pun,” I replied, almost too excited to feign innocence.

“Well too bad because I do,” he whispered into my hair as he squeezed me tightly. I thought he would never let me go, but when he finally did, his expression had changed. Sadness had crept into his eyes. “I’m sorry that this mission took so long.”

“So let me get this straight. You’re apologizing for saving the world?” I said, barely holding back my laughter.

“Not the whole world, just a part of it,” he answered with a smirk.

“Welcome back, Harry. Come on kids, we need to get going,” I heard my mom say from the kitchen. That’s when I remembered the tension between my parents from before my dad left. I thought the relief that she would feel when she saw him back home, safe and sound, would have erased any anger she still had against him. I guess I was wrong.

“But mom, it’s still early and I haven’t eaten breakfast,” I whined.

“Lily you still need to get dressed and we have to pick up your cousins on the way to the train station.”

“What about breakfast?” I asked, still trying to prolong the time I had with my dad.

“You can eat breakfast at your cousins’,” she replied with a definitive tone in her voice.

I grabbed another piece of bacon and stomped up the stairs. When I got to my bedroom, it took all the strength I had, to not yell out. I flopped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling for awhile. I thought about the first time that I had noticed this tension between them. It had been around mid-summer. We were all eating dinner and dad announced that he would be leaving for another mission soon. 

“Isn’t that cutting it kind of close dad?” Al bus asked.

“Your father seems to think that this mission is too important to postpone or to give to another Aurie,” said mom, before dad could even open his mouth.

“It’s not that simple there are a lot of factors to consider here,” said dad as he tried to defend himself.

“Did you consider that you were barely here the entire summer?” I interjected.

“That’s not exactly a top priority right now sweetheart.”

“Not a top priority!?” mom exclaimed from across the table. “Excuse me, I lost my appetite.” She picked up her dish, stood up and walked away. 

The next morning when I woke up I saw my dad sleeping on the couch.

 

A yell from downstairs yanked me from my thoughts. It was my mom telling me to hurry up. I brushed out my hair, pulled a flannel over my tank top and took a quick glance around my room for any forgotten items. When I was certain that I had packed everything, I walked downstairs with my trunk. 

“Hey Lily, before you leave I have a surprise for you,” shouted my dad from the living room. “Do you remember when we talked about getting you a pet this year? I said that we could go choose one the week before school starts. I know you’re disappointed that we couldn’t go, but I found this cutie on my mission,” he said whilst lifting up his invisibility cloak. Underneath the cloak was a carrier. “Go ahead, take a look.” 

I peeked inside and I saw a white, fluffy kitten. “Merlin! Dad, she’s adorable! Thank you so much!” I screeched whilst giving my dad a tight hug. “Can I take her out now?”

“I would keep her in there for now. Trust me; it was difficult getting her in.”

“What’s all the screaming about?” mom asked, entering the living room.

“Dad got me a kitten mom!”

“You don’t have a problem with her getting a cat right?” dad asked timidly.

“Oh, so you want my permission now? After you already made the decision?” 

“Aren’t we going to be late, mom?” I asked, trying to break the tension.

“Just take the cat and get in the car Lily.” mom ordered.

I picked up the carrier and said goodbye to my dad. I could still hear the two of them arguing even after I closed the front door. I thought mom was just angry about the mission, but this has nothing to do with it. I guess if I thought about it mom and dad have been at each other’s throats a lot more recently. They fight about James’ future, Uncle Ron, basically anything and everything. I hoped they’d fix things whilst we were at Hogwarts and they had the house to themselves. I hopped into the vehicle, happy that I got a window seat. After a few minutes, mom finally left the house and came into the car. Everyone was silent on the way to my cousins’.

When we got to Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione’s, Al and James ran up to Hugo’s room to “help him pack”, mom and Aunt Hermione sat in the living room and talked and Rose and I ate cereal in the dining room.

“Excited for fourth year?” Rose asked.

“Not really. I doubt anything is going to change.”

“It’s Hogwarts, anything can happen.”

“You sound like a love-struck teenager in a coming of age movie.”

“I’m not love-struck! I don’t even like anyone,” she replied defensively.

“Rose I think it’s my duty as not only your cousin but your friend to tell you that everyone knows.”

“Knows what?” she asked in a panicked tone.

There was no need for words, especially with her mom in the next room, so I replied with a raised eyebrow.

“Am I really that obvious?” she asked with a pleading look.

“Yes, no doubt about it. Don’t worry. Like you said, ‘anything can happen.’” I replied. Did I think it was true? No. Did I think that she needed to hear it? Definitely.

“Are you girls ready to leave?” Aunt Hermione asked.

“Yup, I just need to grab my trunk from my room,” Rose replied.

“Well, go get it now because we’re leaving in five minutes, with or without you.”

Rose went to grab her trunk and we were out of the house in two minutes. The drive to the train station was a lot noisier than the drive to the house. Rose kept going on and on about this new book on muggles that she found. I just looked out the window and I muttered an “mhm” at the appropriate times. By the time we got to King’s Cross Station, we barely had half hour before the train left for Hogwarts. 

When we finally got to platform 9 and ¾, there were only 15 minutes left. Just enough time to say goodbye and get on the train. I turned to say goodbye to my mom and she already had tears in her eyes. 

“You really should be used to this by now mom,” I whispered to her as I gave her hug.

“Take care of yourself, Lil.” 

“You don’t have to worry about me, mom. It’s the rest of this lot that you have to worry about.” I picked up my trunk and the carrier off of the ground and walked towards the train. When I got inside, it took a while before I found a compartment that was empty. Before I did, I spotted Scorpius in a compartment with his friends. He happened to be looking in my direction, so I smiled at him. He didn’t return the favour, but I told myself that it was probably because he didn’t see me.

Anyway, when I found an empty compartment, I sat as close to the window as possible. Although it started off empty, my compartment quickly filled with people. Albus, Rose and Alice sat across from me. After the Prefect meeting, Al returned with James, Rose and Lysander. Lysander started to talk about his trip to Japan over the summer. He listed some of the rare flowers and animals that he saw. I sort of tuned out after he started talking about the third island he went to. I started thinking about Scorpius. I wondered if his other friends were aware of his mental problems. I thought about Scorpius having to keep the secret from all his friends. I wondered if they would still accept him as a friend if they knew. Midway through the trip, when everyone had settled down I decided to go look for the candy cart. 

“I’m going on a candy run, does anyone want anything?” I asked before leaving.

“Everyone muttered a “no” so I opened the door and walked out. After about a minute, I saw the cart ahead. There was a pretty long line, but I was determined to get some chocolate frogs, so I decided to wait. 

“Lily is that you?” a familiar voice asked from behind me.

“Oliver?” I asked as I turned around.

“Lily!” he yelled as he scooped me up into a bear hug. “I missed you so much.”

Oliver was a fellow Gryffindor that I met in my first year. He basically became my best friend during my first month at Hogwarts and has been ever since. 

“How was France Olly?”

“It would’ve been better if you were there,” he replied with that unforgettable, warm smile.

The two of us caught up whilst waiting in line for our candy.

“Hey who are you sitting with?”

“Oh, just my family (I consider Alice and Lysander my family since we grew up together),” I replied.

“You should come and sit with Clara and I in our compartment. I have exploding snap.”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on! I haven’t seen you all summer. Plus I’ll buy you candy.”

“Fine, I’m sold!” I replied with a laugh.

Oliver and I bought candy and walked back to his compartment. When I entered I was greeted by multiple familiar faces. There was Lorcan Scamander, Lysander’s twin brother, a fellow Gryffindor and the best beater the team has seen in ages. Next to him was Clara Longbottom, Alice’s younger sister, one of my best friends and probably the funniest person I’ve ever met. Rebecca Thomas and Charles Wood sat across from each other, next to the window. Rebecca was a Hufflepuff, but our dads knew each other, so we were friends. Charles was sixth year Gryffindor and our team captain. The two of them had been “in love” for the past two years. Everyone thought they were the perfect couple, but I highly doubted that they would last another year.

“Look who I found waiting in line for candy,” Olly said from behind me.

“Lily come sit beside me!” Clara screamed from my left.

So I sat down between Clara and Charles.

“So Lily how’s that steaming hot cousin of yours?” she asked.

She was talking about Fred.  I still don’t know if she really thought he was hot or just enjoyed making me feel uncomfortable.

“Give the girl a break Clara. She just got here and you’re already making her want to leave,” Rebecca yelled.

“Rebecca, my knight in shining armour, how was your summer?” I asked.

“It was fun! Charlie’s parents invited me on their trip to Spain, so I spent most of the break getting lost with this idiot,” she replied, pointing to her boyfriend.

“Hey, I’m not the one who forgot the map at the hotel!” Charles said, defensively. 

This banter continued for a while. I must admit, I had more fun in that compartment than I probably would have had with my family. When we were close to Hogwarts, I left to change into the uniform. Before walking away from the compartment, I looked through the glass, at my friends. They all looked so happy, so carefree. “With all these great friends, what could go wrong this year?” I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not going to lie, writing that chapter felt like torture. I hate having to do these fill in chapters where barely anything happens. So I hope you guys had more fun reading it than I did writing it. There’ll be some interesting chapters ahead, I promise! Trust me, this is just the beginning.


	5. New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This should be more entertaining than the last chapter. We get to see more of Lily’s humour.

When the train finally came to a stop in Hogsmeade, the students slowly exited the train. The unusually chilly air made me grateful that I chose to wear the robe. I hopped on the nearest empty carriage, followed by Albus, James and Lysander. Just as we were about to leave, Oliver grabbed a hold of the carriage and squeezed into the space between Lysander and I.

“There you are Lily! We were all worried when you didn’t return.”

“After I changed into my robes, I wanted to check in on my cat. So I headed back to the other compartment. By the time I got there, the train had already arrived,” I lied. The truth is I wandered throughout the train, looking for a quiet place to think, hoping to run into Malfoy.

“Since when did you have a cat?” Oliver asked.

“Since when was it any of your business?” James snarled.

“Sod off James!” I yelled back. He always found a reason to ridicule Oliver. “My dad kind of surprised me with her just this morning. I haven’t even had a chance to name her.” I replied.

“Oh, I can help with that. Let’s come up with a name right now.”

“That really isn’t necessary Olly.”

“Nonsense, I’m sure together we could come up with something great,” he persisted. “How about ‘Alice’?”

“Too common,” I commented, thinking of Clara’s big sister.

“What about Regina?”

“Well, it doesn’t sound terrible…”

“Come on, Regina’s a fantastic name!”

“Alright, I’ll call her Regina,” I conceded, just to get him to stop suggesting names. I wasn’t in the mood to handle Oliver’s overwhelming enthusiasm. He made a couple more attempts to start a conversation, but eventually, he got the hint and the carriage fell into an awkward silence.

As we approached the castle, the familiar sight made me forget about everyone else and reminded me that I was finally home.

 

…

 

“So Lily, what’s so interesting about the Slytherin table tonight?” Lorcan asked. I hate how he knows me so well.

“Pardon me?” I asked, turning my attention to him.

“You’ve been staring at the Slytherin table since we sat down.”

“I could be looking at any of the other three tables. What makes you think I’m looking at Slytherin’s?” I asked defensively.

“She’s got you there, “ Clara chimed in from beside me.

“So you admit you were staring at something or someone?” He demanded with a smirk on his lips. I still remember what they felt like. But then, do you ever really forget your first?

“If you must know, I’m looking at some first years who look terrified enough to piss their pants,” another lie. “Did we look like that on our first night?”

“I don’t remember. It seems so long ago,” said Oliver.

“Just wait until your sixth year, it will seem like first year was a century ago,” Albus added.

“Merlin Al! You’ll be gone after next year.” Lorcan blurted.

“Can we change the subject?” Rebecca asked, playing the role of the worried girlfriend to a tee. I’m not sure who she thought she was fooling. We all knew that she wouldn’t be around that long.

“Don’t worry Becca, with this git’s grades, I am certain he won’t be graduating next year,” said Al. Lorcan started chuckling and soon enough, no one could contain their laughter. Whilst doubling over, I could have sworn I saw Malfoy look over at our table for a brief moment. And just like that, my attention was back to the Slytherin table. What was going on with him? Why wouldn’t he let me in?

“LILY!”

Startled, I almost knocked over my glass of pumpkin juice, “There’s no need to scream Charles.”

“Maybe if you weren’t daydreaming, I wouldn’t have to yell.”

“Is that what you wanted to say? Stop daydreaming?” I asked impatiently.

“I was just making sure that you’re returning to the team, this year. But with that attitude, I’m not sure we still want you.”

“What else would I do with my free time? Study?” And with a fresh fit of giggles, everyone forgot about just how distracted I was and the conversation continued without me.

After dinner, we were all strolling back to the common rooms.

“Hey Charlie, stop sucking face and tell your girlfriend goodnight already!” Al yelled.

“I’ll… catch you… later,” Charlie gasped between kisses.

“Come on guys, let’s go,” I said to the group.

“They’re disgusting.” Clara declared next to me.

I snorted before saying, “Sorry the hypocrisy just got to me is all.”

“Hey, at least I’m private about it.”

“I wouldn’t consider a broom closet private,” I replied.

“Really? It seemed private enough for you and Lorcan.”

“WHAT?!” I heard Albus yell a few steps behind us.

“You know perfectly well that was a one-time thing and basically an accident,” I hissed back. “She’s only kidding Al.” I sped up to avoid Al’s questions.

Halfway to the Gryffindor common room, I saw a familiar mop of blonde hair heading towards me.

“Hey Scorpius, are you lost?” I asked teasingly. He looked up from the ground and stared at me before darting down another hallway. It left me feeling even more confused than before. I continued down the hallway towards the common room. I needed to push any thoughts of Scorpius out of my head and get a good night's sleep.

 

…

 

The next morning, my curiosity turned into determination to hunt down Malfoy and get some answers. So I took a shower, got dressed and headed down to the common room. As usual, Clara and Oliver were already waiting for me. It looked like they were having some kind of heated argument next to the fireplace. It sounded like something that I didn’t want to get involved in.

“You guys ready?” I asked from a safe distance.

“Let’s go,” Clara said as she linked our arms together and tugged me towards the exit. We walked down to the Great Hall with Olly trailing behind.

“Hey, promise me you guys won’t be fighting for long,” I whispered to Clara.

“Don’t worry about it, Lil.”

“I’m serious. I hate watching you guys fight like this.”

We walked past the Slytherin table on the way to our table. As expected, Scorpius looked everywhere except in my direction. This was really becoming ridiculous.

 

…

 

“Wakeup,” Clara whispered hoarsely. We were in History of Magic and Professor Binn was currently reviewing last years themes.

“You didn’t even give me a chance to fall asleep.” I hissed back. The rest of my classes didn’t go much differently; The professors reviewed last years material and I struggled to fight off boredom. I hadn’t seen Scorpius all day. Well, that is until after dinner when I caught a glimpse of him turning a corner. I followed him all the way into the library. He headed to the back and so did I. Before I knew it, there weren’t any other students around; just me, Scorpius and the books. Suddenly he stopped walking and spun around.

“Stop following me, Potter.”

“Maybe there’s a book back here that I need,” I replied.

“Tell me, does the innocent act work on your little Gryffindor friends? ‘Cause it’s sure as hell not working on me.”

“So what if I was following you Malfoy? I need answers,” I said defensively.

“Answers?”

“Why are you avoiding me?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Now who’s playing innocent?”

“Listen, summer was great and all, but now we’re back in school; back to reality. I have my friends and you have yours. It’s not gonna work out.”

“Are you even listening to yourself? You sound like a character in some forbidden romance novel. Merlin, get over yourself,” I said, raising my voice.

“This exactly why I didn’t want to say anything. You’re not mature enough to understand.”

“I’m immature? You’re the one who’s incapable of staying in a relationship.”

“So now we’re in a relationship?” He demanded.

“SHHHH!”

“You know perfectly well what I meant,” I replied at a slightly lower volume.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you to stay away from snakes, Lily?” Will McLaggen asked as he appeared behind me.

“Bugger off!” I replied. “And as for you Malfoy-” But he was gone by the time I turned back around. I gave McLaggen one more dirty look before I left the library.

I walked around the school for a while to burn off steam. Eventually, fewer and fewer people were wandering the hallways until I was all alone. I decided to head back to the common room before I got caught.

When I entered, the fireplace gave just enough light for me to be able to make out a silhouette of a person on the couch. I was too tired to get a closer look, so I dragged my feet to the staircase.

“Lily?”

“James?”

“What were you doing out of the common room so late?”

“I lost track of time. What’s your excuse for still being up?”

“What, did Malfoy forget his watch?”

“Excuse me?”

“Give it up, Lily; Will already told me he saw you two in the back of the library.”

“And he felt the need to report back to you because…”

“How many times have I told you to stay away from Slytherins?”

Now I was really upset, “I may talk to snakes, but at least I don't let them in my bed.”

“Excuse me!?”

“Oh was that supposed to be a secret? You might want to remind Parkinson to stop bragging about it,” I said whilst climbing up the stairs.

“Hey get back here!” I was too tired to even look back at James. I didn't need shit from him too.


	6. New Old Friends

Sleep didn't come very easily that night. I tossed and turned until the sun finally made an appearance. My lack of sleep had given me time to come up with a plan. But if I had any chance of being successful, I had to avoid Clara. So I left my bed before any of the other girls woke up. I glanced at my clock on the way to the washroom. It was too early to go to the Great Hall. I rummaged through my trunk for running clothes and a pair of trainers before heading out.

I slipped out of the room and went for a run on the grounds surrounding the castle. Whilst on my run, I refined my plan for handling Malfoy. There was a chance that if it wouldn’t work I wouldn’t be able to show my face around any Slytherin for a couple of weeks, but I was willing to take the risk. I was tired of being told what to do by James, Will and Scorpius. Arguing with James was worse than arguing with a wall. It was like arguing with a house elf—it left you with a sense of pity. Both James and Will were hopeless. But Scorpius? Scorpius inspired a strange kind of hope in me. A hope that not everything was black and white. A hope that I had a say in how my life turned out. With a renewed sense of commitment, I made my way back inside the castle.

After a quick shower, I got dressed and headed to the Great Hall. As I walked in, I spotted Hugo’s brilliant ginger locks. The spot next to him had a perfect view of the Slytherin table, so I sat down between him and Olly. As I approached the table, I could hear Lorcan and Hugo arguing about brooms. It seemed that the two of them never stopped talking about Quidditch. Apart from Ron, Hugo had to be the biggest Quidditch fan in the family. He knew every statistic about every player and was practically a walking “Quidditch Through the Ages”. Lorcan on the hand loved playing Quidditch and didn't mind entertaining Hugo.

“Lily, tell Lorcan that the Nimbus 4000 is the best broom to come out this year,” Hugo pleaded as he noticed my presence.

“You've got to be kidding me, Hugo! Fat chance finding someone to agree with you!,” Lorcan fired back.

I didn't really want to be dragged into their argument, but Lorcan had a point “Admit it Hugo, your loyalty to Nimbus brooms is unwarranted and a little embarrassing,” I replied, causing Lorcan to grin. Before Hugo could come up with a defence, I spotted Scorpius take a seat across the room.

“Where are you going?,” Hugo asked when I got up and started walking away. I didn’t bother to turn around to explain. I had to keep going or I would chicken out. I walked to where Scorpius was seating and took the spot next to him.

“Hey,” I said casually, whilst reaching for a piece of toast. The conversations around me all came to a halt. I thought that if I stayed calm, they would have no choice but to go back to normal. I was wrong.

“Are you lost, Potter?” Peggy Parkinson spat out.

“What’s wrong Peggs? Didn’t meet your blowjob quota for the month?” I shot back with just as much venom in my voice. The look on Peggy’s face went from shock to embarrassment to anger. But she stayed silent as she got up and stormed out.

“Ouch! Nice one Potter!” Nick Greengrass yelled from lower down the table. This seemed to start up conversations again. A couple Slytherins even started to talk to me about the classes we had together. In a way, I just naturally blended into the group. Scorpius was notably quiet throughout breakfast. Eventually, I had to leave to get to my first class. I grabbed my books and left.

As I exited the Great Hall doors, I felt a hand on my arm. As I turned around, I saw Scorpius’ amused face.

Looking around to make sure the coast was clear, he leaned in and whispered, “What kind of stunt were you trying to pull off?”

I replied with, “It wasn’t a stunt, it was merely a demonstration. I needed to show you how well I fit in with your friends. Your excuses won’t hold up for much longer.”

“Well played. Maybe, the sorting hat really did make a mistake,” he said with a small smirk.

“Yeah, maybe.”

“So what now?” Scorpius asked as he took a step closer. We were now mere inches apart. From this far away, I could smell his cologne. It smelled like sandalwood.

“Now you stop treating me like crap and starting acting like the boy I met over the summer.”

“I don’t know how to be that boy here. There is a world of difference between Hogwarts and that small town. There were no expectations back there.”

“Pretend that there are no expectations here.”

He gave me an incredulous look. “I can’t live in a make-believe world Lily when I’m trapped in this one.”

“Hey,” I said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not trapped. You’re in control of your life.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I can’t,” I replied, looking into his stormy eyes. “But I choose to believe that the choices that I make every day make a difference in how my life will turn out.”

“Oi Malfoy!” a sixth year that I did not recognize yelled out. And just like that, our moment was over.

“I’ll see you at dinner, Potter,” Scorpius said with a smile as he walked towards his friends.

“Yeah, sure,” I said to myself.

⋯

From that day, Scorpius and I grew closer. I would join him at the Slytherin table every now and then. He never joined me at the Gryffindor table. Which was understandable when I thought about how Olly and my brothers treated him. Occasionally we would meet up in the library after dinner. No matter what subject we focused on, it always ended the same; Scorpius waking me up from a deep sleep. Eventually, Scorpius started joining me for jogs in the mornings. The two of us would talk about any and everything. One day the topic of my dad came up.

“Can’t your dad stop Skeeter from writing about you?” he asked.

“My dad has a lot more important things to worry about,” I said with a bitter laugh.

“I’m sure he always has time for his princess,” he replied, knowing that I hated the nickname.

“Let’s not talk about it.”

He stopped running. “Look at me. It’s me. It’s Scorpius. I know a thing or two about not liking your dad. You can talk to me.”

“I just… I just don’t want to depend on him too much in case he doesn’t come home one day,” I replied softly.

“Blimey! You can’t think like that Lils. It’s not healthy.”

“Let’s just keep running,” I suggested, moving away from him.

“I won’t push, but you can’t keep this bottled up. You need to talk to your dad.”

“Is that right? Have you got any advice on how I should go about it?” I asked, turning the tables. “Really when was the last time you had a heart to heart with your father, Malfoy?” The look on his face made me turn away.

“That’s completely different and you know it!” he fired back. I was reminded of the marks I saw on his arm not too long ago. It made me regret bringing his family into this. Afterall, he was only trying to help.

“I’m sorry,” I said to the ground. “I wasn’t thinking.” I looked up at him to see his reaction. His face was blank.

“Yeah, that part was obvious.”

His comment stung, but I deserved it. “I’m sorry for lashing out. I’m just a little sensitive when it comes to my dad. I know you’re just concerned and I appreciate it.”

“Let’s just keep going,” he suggested, brushing past me.

“That’s it?”

He stopped and turned around. “What else do you want me to say? Should I say ‘I forgive you for attacking me when I just wanted to help’? That’s kinda messed up Lil”

“I know. I’m working on it.”

“I won’t be your punching bag.”

“That’s a bit dramatic don’t you think?”

“Yeah whatever Potter,” he replied whilst turning to leave.

Things were awkward for the next couple of days. We avoided each other at meals. Until one day, I was sitting at the Gryffindor table and I felt someone slide into the spot next to me. I saw the mass of blonde curls out of the corner of my eye. I felt him lean into me.

“We make our own choices yeah?” he whispered in my ear.

I slowly nodded.

“Then choose to be my friend and I’ll choose to be yours.”

“Deal.”


	7. Malfoy vs the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so we’re going to fast-forward ahead to Christmas time. Hope you all enjoy it.

It was the day before Christmas holidays started. I was sitting at the Slytherin table for dinner that night. The Great Hall looked immaculate. There were smaller Christmas trees lining the walls and one very large Christmas tree behind the teachers. The ornaments reflected the flickering candlelight. There were wreaths and lights and tinsel, but my favourite part had always been the snow. As I stared up at the ceiling, the snow seemed to appear out of thin air, fall a few feet and then disappear once again. The illusion combined the best parts of winter; the beauty of nature and the warmth and coziness of the indoors.

I felt someone nudge me on the left. When I looked around, I realized that everyone was looking at me. I must have been daydreaming for a while.

“Huh?”

“I was just asking if you were going home for the holidays,” Nick Greengrass chime in from my left. Nick is Scorpius’s cousin from his mother’s side of the family. He and I became fast friends once he realized that Scorpius and I were becoming close. He didn’t seem to care about family names as much as some of the other Slytherin’s did. Scorpius one explained to me that the Greengrass family was a very old, pure-blooded family and that Nick’s tolerance and open-mindedness was a sort of rebellion against his relatives.

“I kind of have to. There’s the annual Weasley Christmas get together.”

“So we won’t be seeing you at the Manor?” Nick asked.

“The Manor?” I asked as I turned to look at Scorpius.

“You mean you didn’t invite Potter to your Christmas party?” Nick asked Scorpius.

“She doesn’t want to spend Christmas Eve with you losers,” Scorpius replied.

“Yeah she must be tired of seeing Malfoy’s face all the time,” Dimitri Krum added. I remembered Uncle Ron had told me about Dimitri’s father. Apparently, Viktor Krum had visited Hogwarts when he was younger. The details of his visit changed depending on who you asked. All I know is that he was the Triwizard champion for Durmstrang. However, when it came time to send Dimitri to school, he chose Hogwarts. The reasoning behind his decision was speculated about in the tabloids for weeks. No matter what his reasons were, he obviously made the right decision. Dimitri was a star student and an even more impressive Quidditch player.

“Well, what do you think Lily?” Nick asked.

“I think I haven’t been properly asked yet,” I said with a suggestive look to Scorpius.

“Would you prefer me on one knee?” Scorpius shot back with a teasing look in his eyes.

“If it’s not too much trouble,” I said, challenging him. This often happened. Scorpius and I would fool around and tease each other until it turned into some sort of challenge. And neither of us would back away from a challenge. So we looked into each other’s eyes, daring, teasing, until Scorpius got up from the bench and knelt down on one knee. 

As if it wasn’t already dramatic enough, he took my hand in his and said, “Lily my beloved—”

“Am I interrupting something?” Oliver asked as he appeared behind me.

“Actually—” Scorpius started.

“Oh hey, Olly! What’s going on?” I asked. It was pretty unusual to see one of my friends from Gryffindor on this side of the hall. They sort of all avoided the topic of my friendship with Scorpius.

“We were supposed to meet in the library to study,” he replied. A quick glance at the clock told me that there were still 20 minutes before we had planned to meet.

“I’ll meet you there, I just have to take care of something first,” I said, almost dissolving into giggles at the thought of Scorpius still kneeling on the floor.

“Yeah, do you mind mate?” Scorpius asked almost mockingly. Oliver simply walked away without replying.

“I should probably go after him,” I said, turning back to face Scorpius.

“What about my fake proposal?” Scorpius asked with a pout. I’ll be honest; with a face like that, it was hard to say no. I spotted the way his eyes shimmered in the candlelight and how his lips looked too soft to be real. It was almost enough to melt my cool and calm exterior, but I pushed away those thoughts and labelled them as typical teenage girl thoughts.

“Don't worry I'll be at your stupid party,” I replied, picking up my bag to leave.

I was walking away when I heard him say, “Wear something nice.”

“Oh come on! I had this really comfy pair of sweatpants in mind,” I replied sarcastically on my way out. 

I left the great hall and made my way to the library. There weren’t a lot of students walking in the corridors. Most people were either eating dinner or packing for the holidays. I thought I would have caught up to Oliver on the way to the library, but he was nowhere to be seen. I thought back to Oliver’s behaviour at dinner. He had seemed tense and irritated. I worried that something might have happened; something that he couldn’t say in front of a table full of Slytherins. I thought of all the possible dilemmas as I entered the library. It was as deserted as the corridors. I found him at a table near the forbidden section. 

“Hey there,” I said as I approached. He didn’t even look up to acknowledge my presence. Sensing his bad mood, I sat down in the chair next to him and pulled out my History of Magic textbook. My hope was that if I stayed with him long enough, he would give in and open up about what was bothering him. Sadly, I could only study History of Magic for so long before I got fidgety. I looked over at Oliver. He was quickly scribbling down notes about the Calming Draught. By that point in time, I had been there for half an hour and he still hadn’t said anything.

“Olly it’s the day before Christmas break. What are we doing sitting in the library?”

“Preparing for the test we have the week we come back?” He replied without looking up from his parchment.

“Let’s go have some fun with our friends,” I suggested.

“Which friends? Malfoy and Greengrass? I’d rather not, thanks,” he replied finally looking at me.

“That was uncalled for. The fact that I choose to talk to them should indicate that they’re decent enough blokes,” I said, having had enough of his attitude. “Meet me outside if you change your mind.” I left the library and went directly to the Gryffindor Common Room. 

When I finally got inside, I saw at least a dozen people lounging about. I spotted Lorcan and Charles, sitting on the loveseat closest to the fireplace. The light from the fireplace gave Lorcan’s features a warm glow that was undeniably attractive. The two of us always had this sort of tension between us. Last year, all the flirting and teasing lead up to a snogging session in a broom closet. We were in corridors late at night, planning a prank. After hearing Filch’s heavy footsteps approaching, we jumped into the nearest broom closet. Even in the darkness, I could his strong jawline and sharp features. I moved closer so that we were an inch apart. I felt one of his hands slip around his waist as the other one lightly touched my neck. Before I knew what was happening, his lips were on mine. Although it was my first kiss, Lorcan made sure I would never forget it. Just the memory of the dark, confined space, Lorcan’s hands, his lips, was enough to get me hot and bothered occasionally. However steamy the kiss was, it never manifested into anything more. Lorcan and I’s families were incredibly close. If we were to ever break up, it would messy and complicated. So since that day, I never mentioned the kiss and neither did he. Thankfully, we’re still friends. So I walked over to the loveseat and asked, “Who’s up for a snowball fight?”

“I don’t know Lils,” Lorcan replied. “It’s looking a little cold out there.”

“Oh come on! Let’s go have some fun! Count me in Lily,” Charles replied, before going off to find more people to join.

I replaced Charles on the couch and turned to give Lorcan a pleading look.

“Oi, that’s not fair! You know I can’t say no to that face,” Lorcan complained.

“Don’t worry, I’ll put you on my team,” I replied with a wink before getting up from the couch.

“Let’s meet in the courtyard in 10 minutes,” I yelled across the room before heading up the stairs to my dorms to see if I could find Clara. It felt like we hadn’t really talked much this semester. It wasn’t like we actively avoided each other. We just never seemed to be in the same place at the same time. Most days, I woke up early for a run and by the time I came back, she was already at breakfast. Whenever I actually sat with Gryffindor, she was the Hufflepuff table with some fifth-year boy. In hindsight, the fact that I didn’t even know the name of her new love interest should have been a sign that our friendship was deteriorating. When we had classes together she was too busy paying attention and I was too busy falling asleep. All in all, to say that our relationship was strained was a bit of an understatement. I know that it’s naive to think that all your childhood friendships would last forever, but Clara was a genuine, honest person who I was not ready to let go of. So I hoped that this snowball fight would be the first step on the road to recovery. 

With that thought in mind, I opened the door to our dormitory. I glanced around the room and found Clara on her bed, folding clothes to pack in her trunk. 

“Typical, organized Clara,” I thought to myself.

“Hey Clara, there’s a snowball fight going on outside and I don’t think I can win without you on my team.”

“I don’t know, Lily. I still have a lot to pack,” she replied looking up at me.

“Come one. I need you.”

“I’m sure you’ll win with Scorpius on your team,” she replied, going back to folding.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, changing the tone of my voice.

“You’re a smart girl Lily. Figure it out. Or have you lost a few too many brain cells hanging around that lot?” she replied, clenching her fists.

“Could someone please tell me what Scorpius has done to deserve the hatred of every other Gryffindor?” I asked, raising my voice. 

“Frankly I couldn’t care less about Scorpius. You’re the one who I can’t stand.”

“Me? Have you lost your marbles? What could I have possibly done?”

“Lily, you’ve basically abandoned us for the Slytherins.”

“What do you mean? I sit with the Gryffindors every other meal. I’m in the common room almost every night. I’m on the bloody Quidditch team for Merlin’s sake,” I yelled back. Controlling my temper had never been my strong suit.

“Fine, then you’ve abandoned me!” She screamed. “You’re gone before I wake up. We never talk in class. You go to Hogsmeade without me. When you finally come back to our room, you just go straight to bed. I’m sick and tired of never talking to my so-called best friend.” An awkward silence descended upon the room. There was no longer an elephant in the room. We had both voiced our complaints and now we had to move on. Whether moving on meant walking away or forgiving one another depended on these next few moments.

I looked up at Clara. Her shoulders were slumped, her eyes glistened, she looked defeated. I was the first to speak up, “It was not my intention to abandon you. However, I agree that I could have made more of an effort to be a good friend and for that I am sorry.”

“I know it was not intentional, but somehow that made it worse,” she replied, quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean it was so easy for you to forget about me and move on to Scorpius. You didn’t even have to think about it. You just faded away without even noticing.”

“Trust me, it was not easy not being able to talk to you. And it was even harder getting close to Scorpius,” I replied, reassuringly. “That’s actually the reason why I came up here. I was tired of us never spending time together and I thought that a snowball fight would be a great way to spend quality time together”

“Oh of course! Nothing says friendship like dodging projectiles in frigid temperatures.”

“Hey sod off! I’m trying to be a good friend here!”

“I know you are and I appreciate it, but I think I’ll sit this one out,” she replied before going back to folding her robes. 

Sensing that her mind was made up, I headed to the door. But before I left, Clara called out, “So we’re gonna start treating each other better, yeah?” 

I turned around, smiling, “Don’t worry Clara, you’ll be sick of me by the time we graduate.” 


	8. Christmas with the Malfoy's

It was the 24th of December and I was in the drawing room at the Malfoy Manor. There was a large, marble fireplace at one end of the room with a wreath placed directly above. At the other end, there stood the largest Christmas tree that I had ever seen. It must’ve taken days to trim that monstrosity of a tree. And yet despite its size, it did not come close to touching the ceiling. Upon taking a closer look, I noticed that the ornaments were beautiful but only decorative. Unlike the tree at my house, there were no hints of sentimentality. No handmade snowflakes nor popcorn garland. The two enormous chandeliers created a lighting that suited the aesthetic of the Manor. Although it was my first time being there, I could tell it was not a warm and inviting place. The guests reflected this mood. From the time I walked into the room, my red hair and freckles was a dead giveaway that I did not belong. I thanked Merlin that I hadn’t gone through with pranking Scorpius by showing up in sweats. Instead, I wore a royal blue gown. It was made of layers of tulle and lace appliques on the bodice. I had on silver, strappy heels and I carried a matching clutch to conceal my wand. Although most of the guests did not talk to me, their stares told me all I needed to know. So after grabbing a drink, I made my way to a corner of the room where I could avoid everyone whilst I waited for Scorpius to show up. Only Scorpius would be late to his own party.

“I didn’t think you would actually come,” someone said from my left.

I turned to face Nick, “I almost didn’t. When I asked my parents to come, my mum’s face looked like she’d seen a ghost.”

“So how did you convince them?”

“I quoted some muggle that my dad admires: ‘be the change you want to see in the world’. Or something like that. If he wants other people to be more accepting, he should also be accepting of others, such as the Malfoys.”

“And it actually worked?”

“Well I’m here aren’t I?” I replied with a smirk. Actually, the truth was that my invitation to this party caused a lot of conflict in the Potter household. My mum kept asking me if I wouldn’t prefer to go with them to the Burrow. Then there was James who was convinced that this party was a cover-up for my induction into Slytherin. Dad gave me a thorough lecture on being responsible and behaving properly. He even suggested that Albus accompany me as my chaperone. Although Albus was relatively quiet when I first mentioned the party, he quickly rejected the idea of going to the Manor. This reaction sort of surprised me because Al and Scorpius used to be friends during their first couple of years at Hogwarts. But when I thought about it, I hadn’t seen them talk at all since returning to Hogwarts.

“So what are the Potters off doing whilst we corrupt their one and only daughter?” Nick asked.

“The Potters are doing the same thing they do every year; cramming themselves into the Burrow along with all of my relatives.”

“Ah yes! The infamous Burrow; home to some of the Second Wizarding War’s greatest heroes. I’ve always wondered how you lot manage to fit so many people into one tiny house. Has old man Weasley placed an extension charm on the place?”

“Ha! I wish! All the kids sort of share the floor on the ground floor and the parents get the bedrooms and the attic.”

“Blimey! That sounds…”

“Overwhelming?” I questioned, cutting him off.

“Actually I was going to say miraculous,” he replied before laughing at the expression on my face. “If my family had to spend Christmas Eve crammed into a tiny house, I’m not sure anyone would make it out alive.” The two of us succumbed to fits of laughter over his last statement. 

“Looks like you two are having more fun than anyone here,” Scorpius said as he approached us. “Tell me, what’s the secret to having a good time at a Malfoy party?”

“Isn’t it obvious? My charm and good looks make me the life of any party,” I replied whilst giving him a hug. “Thank you for inviting me by the way.”

“No thank  _ you, _ darling, for showing up,” he replied, still holding on to my waist. “Nick it’s nice to see that you could stand to be with your family long enough to make an appearance,” he said, turning to face Nick, one arm still around my waist.

“Well I’ve had loads of assistance,” he whispered pulling out a small bottle of Firewhisky from inside his blazer.

“Nick, you always know how to cheer me up!” Scorpius exclaimed, reaching for the bottle with his left hand. 

He took a swig of Firewhisky and passed the bottle back to Nick. 

“Want a taste, Lily?” Nick asked. 

“Come on mate. She’s only a fourth year.”

“Yeah and if I remember correctly, we had our first Firewhisky way before our fourth year. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?

“She’s not having any,” Scorpius said with a serious tone.

“Yeah, she is!”

“How about you take that bottle of yours and shove it up yo-”

“Oi! That’s enough! It’s not your decision to make now, is it? Thanks for the offer Nick, but I’ll stick to Butterbeer for now.”

“Suit yourself, Potter,” Nick replied, taking another swig from the bottle.

“I see you’re enjoying yourself, Nicholas,” Astoria Malfoy drawled as she approached the three of us. “Does your mother know that you’re planning to make a fool of yourself at my party?”

“I dunno Aunty. Perhaps you should go ask her yourself,” Nick replied with an equal amount of venom in his tone.

Mrs. Malfoy seemed to take a deep breath to restore her emotionless facade before turning towards Scorpius, “Nice of you to finally join the party, Scorpius. Could your father and I have a word?”

Scorpius silently walked away with his mother not too far behind.

Scorpius did not return for about 20 minutes. When he finally did, his hands were clenched into fists, his forehead was wrinkled and his eyes were narrowed. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked, softly.

“It’s nothing. I just came to say goodnight. I’m leaving,” he replied abrasively, turning to walk away. 

I grabbed his arm before he could get too far, “Let me come with you.” I knew he would not open up to me in this crowded room where his parents were only a few metres away.

He looked me in the eye for awhile, almost as if he was trying to gauge whether or not I knew what it is was really signing up for. “Alright, go get your cloak.”

I retrieved my cloak and when I returned, he was waiting for me outside the doors to the drawing room. “Where to now, Mr. Malfoy?” I asked.

A bittersweet smile appeared on his face. “I’m not quite sure. Any ideas?” he asked, taking a step closer to me.

For some reason, being this close to him made me nervous. Especially as his cologne slowly wrapped its way around my senses. “Well, I’m starving. Your bite-sized hors-d’oeuvres were quite underwhelming,” I replied, attempting to lighten the mood. 

“Don’t let mother hear you say that. She’d have your head.” His voice was lacking the playful tone that one would expect to accompany such harsh words. “How about we head to the Leaky Cauldron and see if we can’t take care of that monstrous appetite of yours.”

I rolled my eyes in response, but he was already walking away. I followed him all the way to another set of heavy oak doors. 

“This is father’s study. The fireplace here is connected to the floo network.”

“And he’s alright with us being in here?” I questioned.

“By the time he notices, we’ll be long gone.”

I looked around the room, waiting for something to jump out from a dark corner. The Malfoy’s dark past was common knowledge. I wouldn’t be surprised if Draco Malfoy had something to keep people of out of his private office.

“Well, come on then,” he urged, handing me some floo powder. “Lady’s first.” 

I took the powder from him and walked over to the fireplace, surrounded by black, mirror-like bricks. I stepped into the small space and turned around to give Scorpius one last look before green flames engulfed my vision. When I arrived at the Leaky Cauldron, I quickly stepped out to make room for Scorpius. By the time I spun around to face the fireplace, he had already appeared.

“Blimey! You nearly landed right on top of me.”

“Well, that would have been an early Christmas present to Skeeter. I could see the headline now, ‘A Potter and a Malfoy spotted getting close up and personal in the confines of a fireplace.’”

“I actually think she’d explode with joy.”

“I don’t think ‘joy’ is the right word. More like  _ exhilaration _ .”

“Yeah whatever Malfoy, let’s just find a booth away from the  _ crowd _ .” There was hardly anyone in the restaurant, but I did not want to take chances. So we sat down in a booth far away from the other patrons and ordered some food.

“So what brings us to Diagon Alley on this fine Christmas Eve? Why are we at a pub when we could be at a black tie event?”

“Oh come on Lily. Did you forget who you’re talking to? You and I both know that you’d rather be in a dusty old pub than an elegant, high society affair any day.”

“Yeah, but you usually fit right in at fancy parties. So what went wrong tonight?” I looked for a clue on Scorpius’ face, but as always it was a blank mask.

He leaned back in his seat and looked away. Whatever it was, he really did not want to talk about it. “It seems that my parents have started planning for my future.”

“Yeah? Well, welcome to the club. My mum bought me my own Harpies jersey the same day she found out that she was having a girl,” I replied teasingly.

“This is different,” he said with a tone that made me not want to argue.

“What are you not telling me?”

“My parents have decided that I will marry Peggy.”

“Peggy Parkinson?”

“Do you know another Peggy?” he spat out.

“I’m just trying to understand what’s going on! This doesn’t make any sense.”

“Of course not, nothing about my family does.”

“Well just say no.”

“Are you serious?” he said incredulously. 

“Lower your voice,” I said as the waiter approached with our food.

He waited until she left before continuing, “As a Malfoy, I am expected to marry well.”

“Listen, I know what it’s like to be squashed under the weight of expectations, bu—”

“Our families’ expectations are not the same,” He said, raising his voice again. I knew that this was a hard topic for him, so I let him take it out on me. “You’re expected to be a good person. You’re expected to be happy, to be successful. I’m expected to maintain status and power. I’m expected to restore the Malfoy name. Our families are worlds apart.”

I waited for a moment to make sure that he was done, before replying. “Have I ever told you about my experience with the Sorting hat?”

“What on earth does that have to do with me marrying Peggy?”

“Well after my name was called, I was on my way up to the stool, when I heard a group of Ravenclaws talking about me. One said that there was ‘no point in even putting the Sorting Hat on her head’. That I was just ‘wasting everyone’s time’. Another one said that I should ‘just get on with it and head straight to the Gryffindor table’. I had never felt as trapped as I did at that moment. It felt as though no matter what I did, my destiny was already predetermined and there was nothing I could do to change that. I would always be defined as Harry Potter’s daughter. I know there are worse things to be called, but sometimes I just want to be Lil, not Lily Potter.” I reached for his hands. They were enormous compared to mine, but somehow it was a perfect fit. “The way I see it, we’re two sides of the same coin. We’re both fighting to make our own destiny. As your friend, I’ll always be there to help you fight your battles.”

He looked me in the eye, “I really appreciate you saying that Lil and I’ll always be there for you too but I ju…”

His words faded away as I got a better look at his hands. The right sleeve of his robes was slightly bunched around his forearm. This revealed his right wrist, where I could see thin, barely noticeable scars. How could I have not considered how all this pressure would lead to him taking it out on himself? My heart flooded with dread as I remembered that fateful night in the forest, last summer. Suddenly, I realized that it was the wrong wrist. Last summer, he had scars on his left wrist, not his right. I felt a knot in my stomach as a realization dawned on me. 

“When did you start cutting again?”

“Huh?” He followed my gaze to his wrist before letting go of my hands and pulling down his sleeve.

“Let’s not talk about it.”

“Why not? Do you remember that promise you made to me?” I asked.

“No,” he replied, looking down.

“You promised me that you were going to stop. So what happened Scorpius? What was so bad?” I asked, raising my voice.

He mumbled something to his lap. 

“Stop mumbling and look me in the eye!”

“I said, ‘I never stopped’!” he shouted, drawing the attention of a couple a few tables down.

“But I thought you sa—” I started.

“I know what I said. But it’s not that easy. You don’t get it, Lil. The pain of cutting is the only way I can drown out the pain in my mind.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know you don’t and I don’t blame you. It’s just a way for me to cope.”

“But, it’s not healthy!”

“Don’t you think I know that? I just don’t know what else to do. I don’t know how else to quiet all the scary thoughts in my mind.”

We were silent for a while, whilst I tried to process what he had just said. Then an idea came to me, “What if when a scary thought comes to you, you write it down and then give it to me. Then it’s not just stuck on repeat in your mind. It’ll be out into the world. It’ll be in my head as well. As for the physical pain, next time you need some, we’ll go for a run.”

“You think you’ve got this all figured out huh?”

“I know I do.” I smiled at him.

“Alright genius, where do you think we should go next?”

“I’m not going to let you change the subject so easily, Scorp.”

“I’d rather not sit here and discuss how screwed up my head is.”

I did not know how to reply to that statement, so I moved on. “Well once we’re done eating, I say we head back home. I’ve had enough adventure for tonight.” 

“Yeah, alright.”

He left 10 sickles at the table and we got up to leave. We headed towards the fireplace, where Scorpius handed me a heap of powder. I got into the alcove and turned to face Scorpius. 

“Are you going home?” I asked.

“What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t make sure you got home safely?”

“And who says chivalry is dead?” I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “10 Wisteria Walk!” I shouted as I dropped the powder. As I stepped out of the fireplace at home, I realized that I hadn’t told him what my address was. After about 30 seconds, he appeared in the space where I had just been.

“Glad to see I gave you enough time to get out of the way.”

“Sorry about that, I completely forgot to give you the address.”

“Oh don’t worry about it,” he said, stepping out of the fireplace. “I’ve come here often enough to hang out with Albus”

“Oh yeah, I forgot you guys used to be friends,” I replied, taking a seat on the loveseat. “What happened to you guys?”

“We’re still friends,” he said, taking a seat next to me.

“Come on Scorpius, obviously something happened. He doesn’t even mention you anymore.” 

A flash of pain crossed his face before his perfect mask returned. “It’s not my place to discuss. You should ask your brother if you really want to know.” He turned his head to the side to look me in the eye. “But if I were you, I would leave it alone.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“Well if I were you, I would start heading home. I’m sure your parents are worried sick.”

“Actually they’re probably still too occupied with their guests to notice that I’m gone.”

“That can’t be true.”

“Either way, they won’t be too happy to see me. I sort of walked out on our conversation earlier.”

“Well, you’ve got to face them sooner or later.”

“I’d prefer later,” he replied with a smile. It was the smile that told me wanted something.

I sighed. “Would you like to spend the night here Scorpius?”

He swallowed me in a bear-like hug. “Thank you so much!”

“Yeah, alright,” I said, pushing him away, trying to get some air to breathe. “Knock it off already.”

He finally answered my pleas and released me. I turned around to start walking towards the staircase. When I realized he wasn’t following me, I stopped to look at him, “Are you coming or not?” 

“Well, I just supposed. Well, I t-t-thought that maybe—”

Hearing Scorpius stutter was a once in a lifetime experience and I was thoroughly enjoying it. “Are you blushing?”

“What? Of course not!”

“Whatever, Malfoy. You can either stay here in the living room and risk getting caught by my family or get over yourself and join me upstairs. Your choice either way,” I replied, climbing up the stairs.

“I was trying to be polite and respectful,” he mumbled as he followed me up the stairs. 

“Wow, what a gentleman you’ve become in the last couple of minutes. You do remember that we’ve slept together before right?”

“That was completely different.”

“Not really. You’ll still be on the floor,” I replied, attempting to reach the top shelf of our linen closet.

“On second thought, I think I’ll take the couch,” he said whilst reaching over my head to retrieve the blanket, essentially entrapping me between the shelves and his body. 

“On second thought, maybe you should just go home,” I suggested, turning around to face him. 

“You wouldn’t do that to me, would you Lil?” I was suddenly aware of how close he was when I felt his breath fan across my face.

“Let’s just go get some sleep,” I responded, gently push him away. He followed me to my room, where he made himself comfortable on the floor. I made my way to the bathroom to change into my pyjamas. By the time I returned, he was fast asleep. I climbed into bed, turning to face him.

“Goodnight Scorpius.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested in what Lily’s dress looks like, here’s a link: https://pin.it/dvtwn6o5oxksly


End file.
